What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
