idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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