My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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