we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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