At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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