If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have aggressive nipples.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
