You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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