we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
