thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
