I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
