I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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