So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
