my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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