You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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