She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
