Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
