Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
