just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
