She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
