i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
nutella sex= disaster
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
