i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
