Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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