That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
