dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize