Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
