I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
