dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
