i don't like sucking hair
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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