We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize