And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
