It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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