I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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