just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
