he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
