Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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