she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wish there were birth control emojis
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You made out with two different species that night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
