Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
