The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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