doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
