Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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