Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
