like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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