i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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