Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
