So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
