She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
