Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
