i barfeds in our rink
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
