Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
