cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
