We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
