i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
