How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
